I was in the urinal of one of the local pubs on saturday. Which is not such an unusual place to be while the local rugby team is playing (and winning) and all the tickets are sold.
A couple of porcelains across was a fellow who couldn't walk, talk or see properly so pissed was he. He was leaning against the wall, head resting on forearm, eyes closed...and well, urinating..he turned across to me and said "jeez this place stinks" I thought "thats curious,the last thing that you lose is your sense of smell"
I was there with an old school mate, who was lamenting the fact that he played for the same team, and in the same position, for twelve years in the days when they didn't get paid...now he's a real estate agent, in the middle of the biggest real estate burn since the great fire of London. His timing, one has to say, has been appalling.
Friday night, I had the married one over...she had decided that she wanted to stay the night...NOW, It wasn't really the 16 txts seeking affirmation and reassurance that pissed me off, it wasn't even the arriving two hours late, and it wasn't even the smashing of the wine glass with a drunken sweep of her arm...nup, the unbridaled passion made up for all that..things were actually going rather swimmingly, until, that is, she slipped into the arms of morpheus.
I was just drifting off myself, when someone started up a chainsaw next to me...jeez..it was louder than...than...the squawk of that Goose that got hit by the plane, before it crashed into the Hudson... I gave her a hopeful poke, she grunted, and carried on snoring, I poked her again...ditto. I read a book...and thought of Lisa and wished I had her ear plugs.(she has a train running under her apartment)
It's bloody funny looking back on it, but it wasn't so at the time...I kicked her out at 6a.m...and, now, of course, she is blaming me...I'm an insensitive degenerate pig, and wholly deserve neutering...and I am left thinking..."isn't it curious how the last thing that goes is your sense of smell."
